Unanswered

Hi, all! It’s hard to believe it’s been nearly a month since I last posted, but I figured the inspiration to write would come at some point and to my delight, today it did. In fact, I’ve been thinking about this particular issue for quite awhile now, but held off on addressing it. Today, however, I think that day has come. It’s an issue that has been bothering me and nags at me often, leaving me to wonder, if I am alone in this, or if others might feel similar and if so, I’m curious as to how or what they do to not let “it” eat away at them. I know, by this point, I’m sure you’re wondering what this elusive “issue” actually is and without wanting to be cryptic, I’ll simply say it: unanswered emails.

It might seem simple enough, sending an email to someone only to never receive a reply, however, in my opinion, it’s gotten extreme. Too often, I’ve spent a significant amount of time crafting an appropriate, thoughtful and respectful email to someone, believing as though they will reply, or at least acknowledge my email. The response wouldn’t have to be a lengthy one, or even in complete sentences, sometimes just an “Okay, sure,” would be satisfactory. However, innumerable emails I have sent go unanswered and not only emails, but Facebook messages. Sometimes, it’s difficult to not take it personally and while I know people are busy and engaged in other issues and pressing concerns each day, but still, a simple acknowledgment is often all I ask for. In the case of follow-up after interviewing a job, my emails I feel, often venture into the abyss, floating somewhere within the intended recipient’s email inbox. As far as jobs are concerned, a follow-up email, call or message simply thanking the interviewee for their time, whether they are offered the job or not, would be highly appreciated, at least in my case. To let someone know either way, if they are being offered the job, is a sign of common courtesy, not to mention, respect. For many interviews I have been on, I have traveled a significant distance, spent countless amounts of hours in traffic and truly tried my hardest during the interview itself, only to receive no response. Sometimes, I feel selfish for thinking I am deserving of follow-up emails or responses to messages I write to acquaintances via Facebook, or other social media, but then I think, what would I tell a friend or family member who voiced similar complaints or frustrations?

Quite frankly, I would tell them: “You are deserving of respect. You are deserving of someone’s time, presence and acknowledgment. It is perfectly acceptable to assert yourself and to want more.” Much of my life, I’ve spent denying who I am, remaining silent when I should have voiced my thoughts and sentiments, letting others take the lead as I watched from the sidelines. Too often, I’ve looked back at the emails and messages I’ve sent and wondered what I said or did wrong, wondering if there was something defective or diseased about me. I’ve wondered if I should change and further alter my persona, my outer looks, in order to elicit a response, if this is what is keeping me from getting one. However, the more I think about it, I try to convince myself if they don’t respond, then maybe it is a message to me that they aren’t meant to be in my life, and as hard as it is to accept in some cases, it is better to spend my time with those who DO respond and acknowledge me, than to waste my time pining over people from the past, or those who clearly are not interested in what I have to say.

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So, there you have it. Just some thoughts for you on a Wednesday evening. Have a good night, friends!

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2 thoughts on “Unanswered

  1. Welcome back! I’ve missed you. I hate to say it but I am so guilty of not answering emails. It’s not that I am ignoring the person who wrote the email. It’s just that I actually HATE to write anything. I wouldn’t even sign my name if I didn’t have to. When I went to school, I took all academic courses and paid very little attention to English writing classes. Therefore, I feel like I write like a third grader and sound pretty dumb. When I get an email, I have lots of responses in my head but it’s almost impossible to write them down. It’s sort of a phobia for me. After reading your blog, I promise myself to try to answer all my emails. Even if it’s just a word or two.

    • I can 100% relate to you on this, as I often feel the same way. I’m always afraid what I am writing won’t sound good, or that I won’t be clear in what I really mean. However, I will say, I think you write wonderfully, I really do, and I’m sure your emails are well-received by all. Thinking of you!

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